Here was my day Thursday

2:15 – Working out at the gym, trying not to stare at whatshername in the black tights.

2:16 – Dislocated the middle finger on my left hand.

2:30 – Sitting in the emergency room, thinking, “I just sent in a check for $50 for a master class with Chris Proctor in three weeks. This g&$x#@! finger had better be working by then.”

3:00 – Lots of people with worse problems than a dislocated finger go first, for some reason, while I read and re-read a freebie flyer from James Dobson’s Focus on the Family. It doesn’t get any better, no matter how many times I read it. 

3:40 – My hand is X-rayed. You wouldn’t think a dislocated finger can make you light-headed, but it can. 

5:00 – I get moved from the waiting room to a cubicle.

5:14 – I get two injections of marcane, a numbing agent, into my finger. This is easily more painful than dislocating your finger, and also more painful than having your finger popped back in without numbing agent. I learn this too late, of course. Sort of like having your finger removed by scorpions.

5:20 – Marcane works – the finger is numb. Now I’m panicked, thinking the numbness will wear off before the physician’s assistant resets it and I have to have those shots again. 

5:28 – At last – it’s popping time. As I’m bracing myself for the pain, the physician’s assistant says, “It’s in. Can you bend it?”

5:45 – More x-rays, this time to make sure it’s back in. 

6:10 – Paperwork. Then the physician’s assistant offers me a splint, which I decline, since I’ve dislocated this finger four times before and have splints lying around the house.

7:05 – Home at last.  

Five days later – ready to start playing again, although I’m not so sure about going back to the gym. I may switch from weightlifting to yoga.

[TJH]